| (no subject) |
[Nov. 19th, 2006|11:16 pm] |
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| | sleepy | ] |
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| | irreplaceable - beyonce | ] |
these past few weeks have been the most confusing of my life and ive come to a conclusion that im moving on im in love with him, but im done with the mind games and im not gunna give him that one thing so ohh well, ill live, hell live, everyone will be fine with time. cuz right now im not so fine but im acting like im okay.
its all always gunna be okay. it was a great weekend with the girls what would i do without them? seriously! |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 26th, 2006|07:59 pm] |
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| | confused | ] |
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| | Laguna Beach | ] | i lied about the whole boyfriend thing. i feel bad, but my feelings changed. i dont like him, i thought i did, but i dont i know i dont, its just not there i dont want to hurt him so i hope he gets the hint and doesnt ask me out cuz i dont want to have to say no. i feel horrible. ohh well, its just the way i feel
today was a bad day. i missed him a lot today guys it was horrible. i wish hed talk to me guys i dont care what you say about it dont tell me to forget about him because i cant ive tried that ive tried these whole past TWO weeks hes been ignoring me and well, it doesnt work guys im in love with him. if its not love, please tell me what it is and dont tell me how i feel because you have no idea. dont try to fix my problems or tell me who i can and cannot like. kthnx bye.
<3 |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 25th, 2006|05:20 pm] |
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| | excited | ] |
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| | phil of the future on t.v. :] | ] |
yay! the talent shows in like 2 hours im really excited about it for some reason ive become such a school person i get involoved in everything. i may have a boyfriend by the end of this week! yayayayayy. this is good. really really good. mhm.
well im gunna go shower. and do my homework and get readyy yeah :] |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 22nd, 2006|10:40 pm] |
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| | sleepy | ] |
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| | none | ] | mkay so this weekend was deffinately interesting, im not gunna lie. but i had fun :] it was a lot of fun the bonfire the halloween store the movies fun stuff man fun stuff well school tomorrow joy.
guess what guys im actually ENJOYING being single right now GO ME! |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 18th, 2006|06:16 am] |
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| | tired | ] |
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| | snap yo fingerssss :D | ] | HAPPY BIRTHDAY JESSICA ANNE MICAKOVIC! : ] ILU<3
off to school. i really dont wanna go. im tired and i dont feel good and it jsut feels like another bad day. i think that someone should prove me wrong today and show me it wont be a bad day :] |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 17th, 2006|09:32 pm] |
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| | im done with thinking so much | ] |
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| | i wanna do it all | ] | make your move baby ... im ready for youu.
hes so stupid. so as a result i tried to apologize even if i wasnt sure why i was the one needing to apologize but i did && he still ignores me. fine then. yeah i was completely upset about this at first crying a lot, but im SO sick of all these stupid tears. i need to stopp. but hey - this is a good thing. it'll help me get over him more not talking to him at all, and now hopefully i can get involved with that someone else.. :] now all he needs is to show me hes ready for this and make his move. if he likes me, he can show me tell me whateverr just lemme kno;; because for the first time in forever, i think im ready for someone new.. and that someone new - baby its you
<3 exes. and ohs.
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 15th, 2006|09:25 pm] |
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| | happy | ] |
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| | sexy love | ] | this weekend was amazing. friday was black and orange day and pep assembly. i screamed my head off it was fun:] i hurt my knee bad tho in tug o war. :[ that night i went to a haunted house with tanya mitchell steve and aunt nola. it was pretty fun and scary but funny. espp the haunted hayride. haha. great times great times
homecoming also was AMAZING, the parade and game was fun i froze my butt off so i left at half time and then hung out with tanya and steven and then the dance.. : ] ahh good times no drama for me just fun fun fun and more fun and he wasnt there if he was;; i didnt see him ohh well. i dont care : ]
well im going to sleep now gnight loveliesss |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 4th, 2006|05:00 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | giddy | ] |
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| | It goin downnnnn :] | ] |
:] today was ah-mazing. seriously. it was a great day. it started off ifyish. i thought it was just gunna be another sucky day. but it was goooooood. science i was all giddy and me and sam kept cracking up for no reason and everytime i talked to mr.warneck he looked at me as if i was on something. it was purrty funny and then we had a fire drill and the class was quiet and mike screamed MR WARNECK FIRE DRILL. it was hilarious everyone was cracking up and erik today = :] it was a good day i talked to him a bit today and jason was acting funny. theyre so stupid i swear but i love them both :] and then the read thru for tryouts was today after school and i also have to sell cookie/cracker/chip things now. so yeah you should bring a dollar to school tomorrow and buy a bag from me :D o0oo0 and homecoming is gunna be fun times 43890237094839028490830 :D :D :D
wish me luck tryouts == TOMORROW !!
[[<i heart you3]] |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 28th, 2006|10:36 pm] |
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| | blank | ] |
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| | say goodbye-chris brown | ] | so basically no one ever reads these so its just a place for me to put down how im feeling
wednesday was basically the third or fourth worst day of my life. the first was the day my parents divorced second was probably when i had to switch schools (i was sad; but it turned out okay, dont get me wrong) third was when mrs.stacy and mr.dave moved. i cried for days
well the fourth was wednesday i was having a confusing horrible day erik was more confusing then ever. i love the boy and he knows it and thats the problem. he abuses the fact that i love him more than anything in this world. and i need to get over it. i dont know if i want to be with him in that way anymore. i love flirting with him, just like with any other guy, but theres more to it when i flirt with him. we know so much about each other that its a little more intense when we flirt i guess i dunno. but im liking the single life but at the same time i miss the relationships. the person that loves me, is there to let me complain to, is there for me to cry to, and is just there to tell me they love me at the most random times. i miss the quick phone calls. the hanging out and doing absolutely nothing but just sitting there and talking with each other and cuddling and watching movies. i miss the kisses and hugs randomly. and i miss the "i love yous". i used to feel so safe with him. like nothing in this whole world could ever harm me when i was with him. even the bad fights with the parentals and issues with friends all seemed better when i talked to him and he told me that he loved me and everything would be fine. and i wish i could still talk to him like that. i mean even as friends cuz we are "friends". but you cant be friends with someone you have such a strong past with ive found out. cuz certain things get brought up and you cant just hang out like friends do without wanting to be close to them and be more than the just friends thing. its just so hard. i want to be with him, but i dont. and i dont even want to begin thinking about what he wants. cuz he claims he loves me. but he likes other girls to. and blah. you dont break up with someone you love. you just dont do it.
and weve been getting into fights lately. like he says girls lie more than guys. and he acted like ive lied to him. ive never ever lied to that boy. hes the liar mr."i still love you and i always will" mr."were gunna get married" how about mr.im gunna just tell you anything to get in your pants yeah thats more like it.
im just sick of it all. this is way too much drama for a 15 year old
and then stephanie made me cry on wednesday during lunch cuz she told me that she was moving. i was so sad. and then i started crying and everything else was going wrong. and then that night my mom freaked out on me and i went to my aunts house. she basically told me she hated me and she wanted me to go move in with my aunt or someone else and pray for a new mom. ugh. i dunno. i love her but she gets so annoying and can be so scarily mean. she gets pshyco when shes mad. im not being sarcastic she really does.
but today was funny my aunts a crazy person. she made me and tanya watch her dance to "i write sins not tragedies" funniest thing EVER. you really shoulda been there. shes warming up for the PANIC! at the disco concert we're going to in november HECK YESSS :D im excited times 349189463789489.
but thats enough for tonight this weekend is being spent with the lovely tanya and her crazy friends element is tomorrow too its gunna be sweet :] |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 26th, 2006|09:20 pm] |
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| | i think too much. | ] |
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| | Two-A-Days on MTV | ] | friggen fraggen ughh i dunno. homecoming=solo. which is how i want it. but it seems like everyone is getting dates.and i havent been asked by anyone and that one boy ya knoww who im talking about hes taking some girl. from another school? i dunno. its kiinda depressing tho. but im over him right? so it shouldnt matter.. RIGHT? ugh who am i kidding? im never going to be truely over him after everything weve been thru. eventually ill find someone else. but theyre never going to be him. i have NO idea what i see in him, but theres something about him that keeps me hanging around and i have no idea what. i should just move on, but i love him.. a small part of me always will. i honestly think hes my "first love" or whatever. i dunno. i shouldnt have to deal with this. im only 15. this is too much for me to think about. he invited me over on thursday. cuz as most of you know (CL) we dont have school. well he wants to hang out. at his house. ei yi yii. i cant do this. i want to go over there so bad;; but itll make it 10 times harder for me to get over the boy if i go over there. something is bound to happen. its so hard to hang out with someone that you were once "in love with" and espp. hard to hang out with them if you think you still love them and they supposedly "still love you and always will" which i think is a crock of crapp cuz if he loved me he wouldnt have broken up the good thing that we had going..
ohh well im sick of feeling like this. and its MY fault. cuz i dont know what i want. im so confused. if i knew what i wanted it would be so much easier. but i need to stop caring about what other people would think and think about what i want. i just wish i could give him like a truth pill or something so that he had to tell me the way he really felt about me and not just what he thinks i want to hear cuz i dont know if he really cares about me or just wants "to get in my pants" like a lot of guys. i mean he could be just saying that. and supposedly he likes that other girl too. i mean if you love someone, you dont break up with them or like other people. its that person, thats who you want to be with. i mean why cant guys understand that? just whyyy?
im liking the single life right now tho. im growing more accustomed to the whole flirt with a bunch of guys and not be tied down to just one of them. i love flirting its fun :]. i mean i should have to be tied down in a serious relationship at 15 but that one boy had me badd.
in gym we're playing GOLF now. of all the friggen sports in the world golf. and i suck at it. you shoulda seen me trying to hit that friggen golf ball. it was badd guys, really bad. ask lauren taylor and sam. i suck for sure lol. we were cracking up. between the four of us we were running out of grass ahaha. yeahh but i like gym : ] its pretty fun.
well im gunna try to sleep. school tomorrow. and then the no use meeting thingy fun stuff mann.. ehh.
[[<3]] |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 19th, 2006|07:31 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | stressed | ] |
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| | call me when your sober | ] | well lets see here..
yesterday was an amazing day. i had even made up my mind what i wanted--and to sum it up in one word it was--him. but today didnt go so well. and i think im just the girl on the side here. i dont think he really cares about me like he claims he does. "i still love you and i always will" mhmm yeah im sure. youll love me whenever you need me. and he likes this one other girl now i suppose to. i heard from a reliable source :];; but i know she'll be better for him. she'll give him what he really wants. she'll be the girl that i cant be. prettier than me, better than me, but ill tell you one things for sure--she wont love him like i do, no one ever will. if he thinks im just gunna stick around--screww that. guys i love him, i do, but i KNOW i need to move on. its just sooo hard. but i know i have to. i cant keep doing this. i cant keep feeling like this. i need a NEW guy. for suree. soo i cant WAIT until you know what im gunna say.. homecomingggg :D
which brings me to the next thing. i was in THEE worst mood ever after school today. felt like i was gunna puke. cried a good number of times. then i went to eat at stephanies work and got to see her and then i went shopping a bit and i really do feel better. i swear its the key to happiness lol. but i got my homecoming dress :D. it kiinda looks like my homecoming one from last year but i think its 10 times cuter. its black with hot pink silky edges and theres like a ribbon in the middle of the cleavageish area and from the arms two hot pink ribbons that tie around the neck. its kind of plain but i love it its adorable. and im gunna do my hair myself. im thinking about getting a hot pink and black headband and putting it in my hair and i know the kind of updo im gunna do. im not gunna pay to get it done;; im just gunna do it myself. im not spending another 40 dollars to do my hair. ill do it myself for free lol. then im gunna get my nails hott pink :D its gunna be cute and i CANT WAIT. im sooo sooo soooooo excited. i love homecoming :D.. but i have a feeling this years is gunna be wayyy different from last years. im still extremely excited tho.
well thats it from me. im done spilling my guts for the dayy :]]
oh and one more thing i LOVE my friends seriously;; i have NO idea where id be without you guys.
<3 |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 13th, 2006|11:29 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | i just dont know anymore | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Naked - Marques Houston :// | ] |
he called tonight. he wont be in school till monday :[ i miss him so much guys;; i dont know what to do like ill be fine and then i talk to him or start to think about him and what used to be, if you wanna call it that and then i get all emotional and i cry and im a mess im one big giant mess and i dont know what to do with myself anymore i want to be with him SO badly guys, its not even funnny. but i dont at the same time. i miss him, everything about him hugs && kisses hanging out late night talks stupid little jokes the way he knew exactally what to do to make me laugh or smile he knows me better than anyone else. and i miss him more than anything in this ENTIRE world.
im so stupid. |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 12th, 2006|09:01 pm] |
i always manage to go to sleep with you on my mind why cant things just go back to the way they used to be?
..istillloveyou. |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 10th, 2006|09:22 am] |
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so school is good. i love all of my classes and have friends in basically all of them. my favorite class tho by far currently is gym :] i love love love that class. i have friends in there and its just pretty sweet. and the boys gym class shares the other half of the gym :] and i must say.. there are some pretty cute ones over there :D..ick. hes in that class tho of course. i dunno what im gunna do about that whole situation. like i miss him like crazy. its that feeling where your standing right there talking to the person and you miss them more than anything else in the world. and well it sucks. but ill get over it. and im looking for others. im at tanyas right now waiting for stephanie and elliot to come pick me up, then going to church, then back to stephanies. when my mom picks us up from there we're going dress shopping :D :D and then after that we're going to the TRACE ADKINS CONCERTTTT:D yayy! im excited for that for sure. so yeahh i better go stephanie just called and shes on her way. <33 |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 4th, 2006|12:08 am] |
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| | in a really good mood | ] | hahahha. silly boy. he thinks im still in love with him. oh how little does he know. oh yeah and now he all of a sudden wants me back. hes too funny :] and i didnt care tonight. he was messing around but saying jerkish things that before woulda made me cry and i wasnt even the slightest bit hurt over it. i think im getting over him guys :] this is REALLY REALLY good news. you should be happy for me. well i went to stephanies 16th birthday party last night and boyyy it was a BLAST. it was seriously one of the best nights all summer. i got to see a bunch of people and just had a really good night and then i started to miss him during the party. i think its cuz i was hanging out with a bunch of guys and flirting of course and it just kinda made me miss him cuz i was so comfortable around him and stuff and i could say or do anything and itd be okay, we had the type of relationship that i could only hope for and then it was gone, and i missed him last night. but its stupid for me to miss him when i could just say yes and have him back, so yeah he asked me out incase you hadnt guessed, but i dont think i wanna do that anymore. i love him and want to be with him but at the same time i dont. its complicated. im having fun being single tho. :]
school = tuesday i so cant wait to see everyone :] i love and miss you all oh so much! |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 21st, 2006|12:39 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | i feel better now | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | noneee | ] | so basically my entire attitude towards everything has changed this summer. i basically think im a different person. a lot of people have been saying that this summer and well i mean it too. this summer everything changed for me. the summer started off perfect. i was in a perfect relationship with what i thought was the perfect boy and things were perfect. i went to tennessee and we were still close i came back we hung out things were still perfect he left for ohio and POOF everything that was perfect became not so perfect. he broke my heart basically ; and i truely will never forgive him for that but i will get over it. i am basically over it right now. i thought that things would never be the same and technically they wont but IM okay. im not hurting anymore over it. im not obsessing over him; and most importantly im not putting my heart out there anymore for him to stomp all over and smash into a million pieces. im over him and his stupidness. weve went out enough times and finally ive learned that enough really is enough. so im opening up my eyes to new experiences in that way. im scared of getting hurt again ; but i refuse to be hurt by him. in other news. friendships that used to be so close are falling apart; but some are getting even closer. the teens at HP are not what they used to be. last summer the lets say 10-15 of us were closer than ever; and now we barely even talk anymore. what is this? we used to be the bestfriends; the teen group others could only hope for and now; well everythings changed and its all gone. we arent friends like we used to be; we havent hung out at ALL this summer. all my previous summers i hung out with them at least 2 times a week AND every weekend; and we went to cedar point ONCE this summer. thats the only time we really hung out. and not even everyone went. everythings changed there and the guys that i used to be so close to are now conceited jerks who dont care if you want to be friends with them or not cuz they just seem to think theyre too cool to be friends with us anymore even tho some of them ive grown up with and theres no getting away from anyways but whatever. so church teens are falling apart and its not as close as it used to be but school has become even closer to my heart than ever. my friends at school are even closer to me than they were before and i love it. i went to a few parties this summer and got to hang out with people that i love and have awesome times with no matter what happens. like when my cell phone got stolen i was ticked at first and then i had a great time just cuz of the people i was with. i made a few new bestfriends this summer. katie grace is one of them. we hung out a couple times this summer and gosh i dont know what i would do without this girl. shes here for me when i need to talk to her about some serious problems im having ; and shes also here for me to be silly with. weve had soo many funny and interesting conversations this summer and i have a feeling that we're gunna be friends for a while. shes one of my new bestiess :] i also got a lot closer with jessica this summer. i talked to her more and well we can open up to each other and i love talking to her cuz she helps me thru SOO much. i have no idea what i would do without her. i also got closer to stephanie and erica and zack. they all are so close to me now and i talk to them about soo much. zack helped me thru all this crap with erik and i love him to death for it. stephanie and erica did too. me and stephanie get a bit crazy when we hang out together and i love her to death. i have no clue where id be without her. and erica just talks to me and jokes around with me and gives me adivce. i love my new bestt friends and i swear this year of school is gunna be awesome. im gunna be moving on ; opening up and letting more people into my life and letting go of people that are holding me back. i cant wait until homecoming cuz thatll be fun and hopefully this whole year will just be a great experience that will give me friends that will last a lifetime. im done spilling my guts tho ; i just felt like i had to type that lol <33 to all my friends. i love you guys; if your not mentioned in here you know who you are and i love you and i dont know what id do without you guys. you guys help me thru all of my bad situations and your helping me change and let go of things that should've been let go of a LONG time ago. thanks for everything <333 |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 10th, 2006|05:43 pm] |
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ehh a lot had kinda happened lately.this random kid keeps asking me out whom i dont know. this past sun-wed i was in frankenmuth with stephanie and her crazy family and we had lotss of fun :) good times. and erik called today :) but idk how i feel about that yet. as soon as i think i might maybe be able to get over everything ; he calls or says something idk ; ill just hafta see what happens. part of me wants to move on so bad and stop getting hurt but the other part tells me to stick it out cuz maybe itll all be worth it. but everyones going to hurt you at one time in your life ; you just hafta decide whos worth it right? ugh i hate decisions ; theres wayy too many to make. but i just hafta wait and see.. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 27th, 2006|06:21 pm] |
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| | tee hee :D | ] |
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| | Tonight I wanna cry | ] | mkayyy so today is not fully over but its on its way..but i still have the whole night ahead of me =) tanyas leaving saturday for kentucky *tear* im gunna miss her. but at least i get to see her tonight before she leaves :D. today has been quite the good day :) soo i woke up at like 9 this morning and had to go to my mommies work to get her check then we had to pay some bills and then we went to the church but i only folded like one bag of clothes and me and ashton went to help mrs.melodie with her VBS room. then erik FINALLY called me at like one and i went over there =) yayayay! ive missed him soo much. but im quite confused about whether we're back toghether or not. we were acting like it today but im not really sure. and i have his bracelet =) he gave it to me to wear for a bit. :) and this makes me very happy lol. we had fun hanging out todayy so thats good :D so i hung out with him and DJ from like 130-430ishh and now im back here babysitting my brother. yes that is ohh so fun. but when my mommy gets back from the funeral home i get to go to tanyas for a bit since shes leaving and i wont see her for a while =( but tonight should be funnn. and then tomorrow i get to go to shannons and hang outt =) im really excited for that. JESSICA ANNE DIVORCED ME! so now i have an ex hubby lol. yeahh we're dorks;; but its why everyone loves us so much =) but chyeahh ima go now. comments would be nice :) <3
ariana <3xoxo |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 25th, 2006|09:06 pm] |
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| | hmmm.. | ] | okayy so today was like any other day. i was bored outta my mind sitting around here in this dumb old house cleaning. yes whats new there? but i didnt wake up until like 12:45ish and only woke up cuz stephanie was calling but i was like out of it so i didnt answer and i still havent called her back cuz im a horrible friend like that. i seriously suck at using the phone. but i got up and then went and did laundry swept mopped and all that good stuff then i made dinner all by myself and it was yummy =) i was very proud of myself. then tanya wanted me to come over but my mommy was being a dumbhead and wouldnt let me go over there =( and shes leaving this saturday :'( tear* but yeah shannons bday was today =) happy birthday to her and i cant wait until friday :D im excited to go over theree. im debating right now on whether to call erik or not. i might. i might not. im scared to. jfkheuiobd. what would we talk about? im not quite sure but i really wanna see him and really really wanna talk to him. why? im not sure. + i have two other guys that like me right now. wow. idk what to do. last night tho i talked to jessica and we had a VERY good conversation and i got a lot off my chest. she helped me feel better and i havent talked to anyone like that in a longg time. i miss my party partner =( but chyeahh im gunna go now. leave me comments <3
xoxo <3 ariana
you fight with the ones you love cause;; they're the ones worth fighting for. <3
She won't let her guard down because every time she does she ends up with a broken heart.
Sometimes I regret that this ever got started, other times I never want it to end.
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| la la la.. |
[Jul. 24th, 2006|09:42 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | sleepy | ] |
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| | everytime i hear your name<3 | ] | woot! a new livejournal. i haven't wrote in one of these since october last year. i was reading some of my old entries and they made me laugh. i remember a lot of the stuff that happened in some of them and how upset i was about things. like i read something from may last year and it was all about erik. haha. thats so crazy. i mean may of last year i was still crazy about the kid and upset about him and always thinking about him and so on and things still havent changed. i can't believe its been almost two years since this whole on/off thing with us started. it just seems so crazy to think about. and I've been at CL for two years now; but it seems so much longer. i really do like going there tho and i love all of my friends from there =). i can't believe how much everything has changed tho in this like past year of my life. everything is different. ive changed a lot and so have all of my friends. last year at this time i would probably be doing something with the teen group or at least be planning on something; and we have only went to cedar point. everything that i did last summer revolved around the teen group and now this summer it doesnt at all. its just really weird because its something im not used to. but we did go to cedar point but it was almost as if it wasnt with the teens cuz only a few of us went. i had a lot of fun tho. i absolutely LOVE roller coasters =) they're soo much fun. i rode the dragster too. it was sooo awesome. it gives you a really good adrenaline rush. same with the millenium force. i love that ride <3. but yeahh it was hard tho cuz i missed him the entire time i was there. i really wish that i didnt miss him tho and that i could just bring myself to get over him but for some reason i cant. its soo hard to get over him and i have NO idea why, everything i do reminds me of him and whenever i think about him i get upset and it sucks. i just wish i didnt have to feel like this all the time. i dont know. but im not used to this whole single thing. its been like 6 months since ive been single. its weird. yesterday tho at stephanies i was riding her brothers bike and i fell off cuz the stupid pedal fell off the bike so i had to walk with it all the way home and this guy started like stalking me and talking to me and stephanie too but she kept riding away leaving me to talk to this kid. and hes like soo what are you guys doing tonight? and he asked for our numbers so when we got to stephanies we went in and gave them "our numbers"..just a little jumbled up. =) yeahh i mean the guy wasnt cute .. his friend kinda was but yeah. it was kinda funny. but my leg hurt really bad from falling and its all scratched up and stuff and what does stephanie do when she sees i fall? she laughs lol. of course; what are bestfriends for? at least this time she didnt take pictures like at the wheels inn with when i was stuck in the bed. haha i love my friends. but thats all im gunna write for now. ill prolly write more later?
xo~ariana<3 |
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